I remember the specific moment I appreciated I had completely and utterly burnt out. It had crept up on me so gradually, until one morning I realised I physically didn’t have the willpower to get myself out of bed. Unfortunately, as a single Mum to two girls who were in Primary school at the time, curling up in the foetal position and not moving wasn’t an option. So somehow, in zombie mode, I chucked jeans over my pjs, packed lunchboxes and walked them to school. I remember crawling up the stairs, peeling my jeans off and staying in bed, curled up in a ball until it was time to collect them. Pretty sure it would have been a freezer dinner day that day.
The burn out was thanks to lots of factors – I was working part time in an admin role, desperate to create something that would support us all better financially and create some sort of legacy for my girls. So, I spent all my spare time, money and energy creating and launching the most amazing online sustainable gifting marketplace. I was so proud. It was so beautiful. I launched it, celebrated lots and then two weeks later, covid hit and lockdown was announced. Fast forward to suddenly working form home, homeschooling two girls on my own and also trying to navigate the new business I had just launched very much into unchartered waters.
I worked 20-hour days, surviving on wine and adrenaline. I couldn’t afford to outsource anything at this stage of my businesses so had to recruit businesses to join us, deal with all the onboarding admin, technical stresses, marketing, research, advertising, and social media. Not forgetting my actual day-to-day job and homeschooling. The kids (quite happily) played an awful lot of Roblox (if you know you know).
Progress was slow. I had some amazing wins – appearing on the BBC’s Countryfile, recruiting nearly 300 small businesses to sell through us and eventually hiring a small team to help me out. Every step forward felt like walking through wet cement in lead boots, but I pushed on.
It wasn’t all doom and gloom, the girls and I had so much fun during lockdown. Long walks in the fields behind our cottage to rope swings, karaoke evenings, movie nights, sleepovers in the garden, so much baking. But the juggle was insane. I was a shadow of my former self, losing weight, permanent black bags under my eyes and a bit too much of a reliance on my chosen medicine, Sauvignon.
When all the lockdowns were finally lifted and “normality” resumed, the burn out properly hit. I didn’t have to hold everything up anymore, so I crumbled.
I hadn’t spent anytime looking after myself. I realised I hadn’t managed a full night’s sleep in a year. It was like looking after 5 newborn babies at the same time whilst blindfolded and drunk.
My marketplace had got to the point where it required significant investment to push it forward and make it a financial success. I finally recognised I simply couldn’t keep it up anymore.
I spent a week taking the kids to school and then crawling back into bed before realising it was time to call it a day and put myself first and close the business. As soon as I had made the decision, a huge weight was lifted. I slept for 15 hours straight and emerged; blinking filled with relief.
I knew within weeks that my entrepreneurial journey was far from over. I missed the high from seeing an order ping through but knew I had to find a business that wouldn’t take over my life in the same way. I did lots of brainstorming, trying to decide what was next. It didn’t take me long to settle on the idea of encouraging other women to take time out for themselves too. I wanted to help others avoid ending up the situation I had. Eventually {re}box was born. It took next to no time to come together in my head, and I knew I would love every second of working on it.
Creating content for our socials, managing website admin, setting the box themes, and shopping for products for the boxes feels like the most natural thing in the whole world. I love knowing that every month my subscribers are unboxing a gorgeous present for themselves. I love picking exactly the right products to go into {re}box each month to act as prompts to encourage you to take time for yourself. I love reenforcing the narrative that self-care isn’t selfish and is in fact, a necessary step in being the best version of yourself each day. I’m a better mum on the days when I’ve taken time to myself. I have more patience, more time, and more energy.
I hope you all love receiving your boxes as much as I love creating them for you. A lot of careful thought, time and love has gone into every single product choice. Come and join us and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
Has this post resonated with you? Drop me an email to let me know. Better still, come follow me on Instagram for a chat or even better, join the {re}box gang today.
Take care of yourself.
Love
Andrea
xx
